It Begins – January 7, 2016
If a year ago someone would have told me that today I would be founding a Community of Spirits, bridging the so-called living and the so-called dead, I would have thought them mad. I’ve served as a death midwife but my work stopped at the threshold of death, perhaps crossing over into the first three days of death but no further. I’ve never considered myself a medium or gifted with those types of abilities.
However, at the very end of last year, December 2014, while wrapping up my second Saturn return, something miraculous occurred. My first husband, in spirit at the time for about 18 months, who I will refer to as “R” out of respect for his privacy and the privacy of family members who may not understand or be comfortable with the work I am called to do, reconnected with me. It has been made clear to me that he influenced various members of his family to connect with me after many years to let me know of his life since we parted in 1996 and his subsequent death in 2013, information I had no access to before.
I will not go into the reasons for our parting except to say this: you can love someone and still know that in order to fulfill your destiny, in order to survive; you must go your separate ways. I will speak about destiny in future blogs but I’ll lay this foundation for clarity.
Until this reconnection, the knowledge of his death was surreal. I sometimes have prophetic dreams. In January of 2013, I dreamt of his dying and searched the internet for a way to contact him. I found what I thought might be his email address and wrote a short but heartfelt note. Short because I could just imagine some stranger getting an email pouring out love and regret and wondering, “Who the hell is this?” Four months later, I received a curt, unsigned email telling me R was dead. Basically after that, I was in shock. It wasn’t real to me and so I sleepwalked through the next 18 months until he instigated about this reconnection. Now I had the information I needed to understand what his life was like, what his death was like. And for the first time, I could grieve. Grieve his death and the death of our 23 year union.
Through this on-going process, it became astoundingly clear that my work was changing and evolving. It became clear that I am to cross the threshold of death and re-build, re-enliven the bridge between the so-called living and the so-called dead. This bridge existed before the development of the conscious mind. Back then we experienced a kind of atavistic clairvoyance and speaking with the dead and the angelic hierarchies was as natural as breathing. But evolution required us to develop a conscious mind so now it is our task to regain that communion with full consciousness. That is just one of the goals of the Community of Spirit. There are more and I am just beginning to get some clarity on those. As I do, I will speak of those goals too.
Over the course of time, I will share the various stages of this unfolding process. I’ll talk about the works of Rudolf Steiner and his Anthroposophical Society, about the various courses in mediumship and angelic communication I am studying and any other methods I explore regarding opening up to what Steiner calls the “supersensible world.” Just as with death midwifery, I begin to feel a group of inner guides and teachers forming to instruct and companion me on my way. Know that I am way out of my comfort zone, way, way out. This is all new territory for me, at least consciously. But already I’ve been told I cannot wait until I feel I have “perfected” whatever it is I am to share. So heads up – this could be a very interesting ride. I hope you will join me. Welcome to the fledging Community of Spirits.