Christmas Eve Day


Oh this Christmas Eve Day…my heart is full of all my loves no longer on this earth. I feel you surrounding me and I want you to know how each and every one of you matter. You mattered then, you matter now, you will always matter. You are always loved. You are never forgotten.

Yes there were times I broke your heart and you broke mine. We are, on earth at least, so imperfect, such fragile beings stumbling around. But from your higher perspective, I imagine you at least can glimpse how every bungle, every tiff had its purpose, taught its lesson and helped us to grow, albeit sometimes kicking and screaming.

Some of you inspired from a distance but of course we know distance, as space and time, are merely constructs to give our wanderings some bearings.

Feel me holding you, warming you with color and sound and laughter and tears…feeding you sweet memories of soft nights and bright days. Drink your fill this day, this night for I feel you ever so close, I feel you inside of me.

Mom, dad, Larry, Roger, Pepper, Gower, Michael, Shannon, Dennis, Jeff, Charles, Robert, Timothy, Gus, Michael, Danny, Betsy, there are too many to name please know I haven’t forgotten you…Maggie, Cinder, Neal, Francine, Twiggy, Ginger, Muppet, Valentino, yes, even you John…and always dearest Anthony…During this feast of Lights…know I see your Light that one day I might follow. It’s a simple slip from “here” to “there” as it is all truly here.

I cannot say it any better than Merry Christmas my loves. Merry Christmas.


Can an Adoring Fan Ever Communicate with Anthony Newley’s Spirit and Find True Contentment?


Something rather…odd…happened to me this past week or so. Watching the recent Barbra Streisand concert on Netflix, I was transfixed as she sang a duet with Anthony Newley. Now, sadly, Anthony has been dead since 1999 so his part of the performance was projected upon the screen behind her while Barbra sang “Who Can I Turn To?” from The Roar of the Grease Paint, The Smell of the Crowd.

I was floored, truly struck dumb. A dead man totally upstaged perhaps the greatest living female singer today. Anthony Newley inspired me to pursue a career in theatre and I was always an adoring fan. I never had the honor of working with him, never even had seen this clip of his appearance on the Ed Sullivan show but as I watched I felt time bending…and back I was…feeling the feelings his voice, his talent, his creativity stirred in me as a young girl.

I found the entire clip on YouTube…watching it over and over again, tears streaming down my face, for this performance, to me, is pure genius, pure artistry. One could put a picture frame around it as an example of what a musical artist strives for. And I realized not only what a profound influence Newley had on me as a performer…but I could feel right into the space he was in while he was performing that piece. I know that space. I have been there and was there again now, with him, in this space beyond time.

So moved by his work as actor, singer, composer, lyricist, director…on and on and on…I could not sleep. And thanks to YouTube, I am now able to see so many performances of his I missed while pursuing my own career.

Now here is the thing. If I embrace Rudolf Steiner’s theory of life in the afterworld world, I cannot connect with Mr. Newley now or when I cross over as I did not have a personal relationship with him. (Though perhaps I have known him in another life…but…that I do not know). If I understand Steiner correctly, stressing the “if”, then I must disagree. When one connects with an artist, any type of artist, with his work, heart to heart, breath to breath, soul to soul connects; I simply cannot believe there is no possibility of our connecting in the afterlife; that this almost sacred connection crumbled to dust on the day he died. Certainly my prayers for his safe journey in the Light ease his travels. Certainly my strongest wish that Anthony knows absolutely knows, how much he was loved, how much joy he brought to so many people he never met, that his life mattered to so many more than he could possibly imagine helps him to “cool all heat and warm all cold.” But having a relationship with him now? Impossible? That I cannot believe.

So being a spiritual scientist, I am experimenting…building a bridge…piece by piece…a bridge to communicate in some way…these thoughts, these prayers, this love…to him…and to actually have a conversation. Honestly, I imagine he is a bit amused that there is something beyond death, as from what I can gather (I may be wrong), he was not convinced there was a “God” let alone a kind one.  And since I do believe in an ultimately kind Divine Consciousness…I must trust this can happen. It must.

It will be three years that I have been on this journey to cross the bridge between the dimension we inhabit and the one where our “so-called” dead reside. I’ve worked at length with Rudolf Steiner’s material, with the study of mediumship, with Dr. Raymond Moody, studying the thoughts of the ancient Greek philosophers on death and the afterlife, and the art of nonsense as a possible bridge to the world beyond death, and his psychomanteum…dabbled briefly, at this point, with remote viewing. But can I truly say I have built that bridge…crossed that bridge successfully? I am not sure. Some brief glimpses maybe.

Perhaps I am just not gifted with this ability…or perhaps it is not my destiny…or maybe it will just continue to be an arduous journey for me. I will go on experimenting but…there may not be a lot of blog posts. Something is changing within me and I don’t know exactly what that is or where it will lead. I am being drawn to something and in order to be true to the Self, I must follow.

Sending you all the greatest wishes for a Happy Solstice, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year. And Tony…if you can, if you wish to, listen for me. Know you are loved. Safe travels in the Light.


Advice after the death of Anna Wagner

Some suggestions for aiding those we love who have crossed over.

The great Rudolf Steiner Quotes Site

On December 31, 1905, Rudolf Steiner wrote to his esoteric pupil Paula Stryczek,  who had turned to him for advice after the death of Anna Wagner (1847-1905):

Dear Miss Stryczek,

Let me say this to you on the occasion of this unhappy event.

When a person dear to us crosses into the other worlds, it is especially important to send our thoughts and feelings without in any way giving the impression that we want her back, which would make life difficult for her in the new spheres she is entering.  What we would send into her worlds is not our own sorrow, but our love for her. Don’t misunderstand me; I do not mean that we must be hardened or indifferent.  But it should be possible for us to look toward the dead person and think, “May my love accompany you and surround you.”  According to my insights, such feelings…

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A sudden death

A fascinating way to consider sudden death especially in light of the events of the last few days.

The great Rudolf Steiner Quotes Site

Imagine that a person is struck down, dies by an accident. Let us suppose that a man is struck dead in his thirtieth year. To outer physical observation such a sudden death is a kind of accident: but from a spiritual science outlook it is simply absurd to regard such an affair as accidental. For in the moment when from outside, from any external cause, a man suddenly meets with death, an immense amount rapidly takes place. Think to yourselves: this same man who has been killed at the age of thirty would have become in the ordinary course of things perhaps seventy, eighty, ninety years old. If he had still lived from thirty to ninety years he would slowly have gone through, one after another, many life experiences. What he would thus have experienced during sixty years of life, he now goes through rapidly, it might even be in…

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Happy “Birthday!”


I wanted to take a moment to honor my first husband “R” on his fourth birthday into the Otherworld, the Super-sensible world as Rudolf Steiner would say. From our perspective, it may be considered a sad day but I truly try to see it has a miraculous one. A day when we know for a certainty that our consciousness is immortal, the “we” never die. Whatever good work comes from the Community of Spirits, it is inspired by “R.”  On Dec. 27th, 2014, it is my belief that “R” reconnected me to his son and the next day introduced me to his widow. Through the many conversations we had, I felt him pushing me from my work with the dying to working with the dead. Happy Birthday “R.” Know you are missed. Know you are loved.

And Again…What Now?


We live in a time for extreme change. Have you noticed that? Have you noticed how time seems to be speeding up? Are you, like many others, someone who felt we went to sleep one night in one universe, one reality, and woke up the next day in an entirely foreign one, one that seems mad, chaotic and out of control? Well I admit that I do.

Since founding the Community of Spirits about a year and a half ago, I have witnessed and/or experienced great change. It’s been difficult, sometimes unnerving, or sad, or anxiety producing but slowly I am getting my balance on what feels like a different earth. I am compelled to size up what I have been doing, where I spend my time and precious energy (at 61, though I plan to be here a while, I don’t feel I have any time to waste if I am to fulfill what I believe is my destiny.) I left a beloved spiritual community I’d been part of for ten years in order to devote the time necessary to this work.

So (in this strange parallel reality I believe many of us woke up in last November, we start virtually every response with, “So…”) So here is where I find myself today. I am still committed to not only serving the dead, communicating with them, but acting as a conduit for those Enlightened Dead to flow their important contributions down to earth. We certainly need all the help we can get.

To that end I explored mediumship, Rudolf Steiner’s vast lectures and writings about strengthening our bond with the dead and under Dr. Raymond Moody’s mentorship, extensive work with the psychomanteum or mirror gazing as a form of communicating with the Enlightened Dead. All has been helpful on this journey, even if, at times, it is a process of exclusion.

I continue to study the Steiner material, continue to work with Dr. Moody and his psychomanteum but now with a clearer horizon, I am drawn to some new, for me anyway, work and how it might play its part in strengthening the bonds between the so-called living and the so-called dead. Several areas of study have popped up. The work of Michio Kaku and Gregg Braden has loomed large. I feel we are on the verge, if we have not reached it already, where the marriage of science and spirituality will finally be recognized. In particular, Kaku’s thoughts on parallel worlds echo what my intuition has been telling me since I was very young…that there are worlds within worlds within worlds. Braden suggests that the ancients knew how to ride the “waves of time” what we now call vertical time, to enter into a parallel world where that cancer diagnosis doesn’t exist…where that cataclysmic weather event doesn’t occur. That we can learn to do this consciously not by default.  This grabs my imagination.

In addition to that, remote viewing, what Braden suggests we used to refer to as prophecy, has been popping into my view repeatedly. When that happens, I try to pay attention so I am taking my first steps in learning that skill, which my instructor insists we all have.

How will this all tie together? I truly do not know. Remember, back when I started this journey with you, I made it clear this is not the way I usually work. I usually wait 18-20 years while I clumsily scale the learning curve, and then write a neat accounting of what I learned and what I can share with you. Not this time.  My inner teachers insisted that I share this journey with you as I make it, bumps, bruises and all.

But Kaku said something that took my breath away. He said that what we think of as ghosts may simply be beings in another dimension. Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of that statement. Take a moment and really take that in. If that is true…if we can find a way to gracefully travel between various dimensions, we will no longer be a walker between worlds…we will walk all the worlds.

Baby steps. Until next time…

P.S. I will be spending time revising my book, “The Art of Death Midwifery,” taking out what longer serves and creating the bridge to my new work with the Community of Spirits. I’ll post as I can…but I need to put time towards that goal. Thanks for your understanding.